Cedar House

Here are some of my key thoughts on working with grief and loss, starting with a few quotes from Megan Devine's excellent book.  “You don’t need solutions. You don’t need to move on from your grief. You need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”  ―  Megan Devine,  It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand “Each of us, each one of us, has to find our way into that middle ground. A place that doesn’t ask us to deny our grief and doesn’t doom us forever. A place that honors the full breadth of grief, which is really the full breadth of love.”  ―  Megan Devine,  It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand 1. Most of us associate grief with bereavement. When someone loses a loved-one, feeli...

Reflective self function (and the attachment story of codependence) : I'm continuing my study of AEDP after level 1 training and find it helpful to share here a few things that blew my mind regarding the reflective self and its importance, also known as mentalization. I am beginning to understand how deceptively simple the concept is. In Fosha's model the reflective-self is a central consideration both for understanding our client's stories and for how we can help them heal. Fosha references Dr. Winnicott's True vs False Self in her section, the ability to hold oneself in one's own heart and mind ( p59). I'll include an excerpt from a short article interacting with Dr Winnicott on this, explaining how the false self arises as a result of parental misattunement. "The child will start to feel like their basic and truest needs and desires are not acceptable or manageable. In a case like this, the child will become what Winnicott calls compliant—that is, the...

Hello!  My name is Brian Abbott, LCSW, owner of Cedar House Counseling. I am a therapist practicing in North Kansas City MO, aka, Northtown. I recently moved my practice from Overland Park KS and am very excited to offer my counseling services to the community here. I'm a big fan of Northtown and am personally invested here.  This blog will help me communicate with clients, let them get to know a bit of me, and what to expect if they decide to work with me. For established clients this blog may provide additional resources, and engagement.  As a therapist I take my craft very seriously and have an ethical responsibility to my clients. One of my favorite parts about being a therapist is the professional imperative of ongoing growth in knowledge and training. It feels good to learn and have a sense of purpose in what I do. I feel very fortunate to be here. Research shows that when therapists have a combination of knowledge and clinical skills it translates into competence; ...